Are We Turning Relationships into a Disposable Item?
Whether we’re talking about coffee cups and stir sticks, plastic bags and bottles, electronics, clothes or food – the Information Age has turned us into the ultimate consumers. We no longer think carefully if we really like or need an item, we just impulsively buy it and then quickly get rid of it, when we’ve had enough or realised it wasn’t the best purchase. This vicious circle has taken enormous scale and it hurts me to see what we’re doing to the environment, climate, vegetation and animals. But this article is not about the environmental crisis that we’re experiencing, though I feel it very close to my heart, and believe actions should be taken both on personal and higher levels.
I want to talk to you about the disposable nature of relationships nowadays.
Whether it’s about containers, appliances or people, we now live in a world where we throw things away so easily. When it comes to relationships, what do we do? If there are problems, we end it, if there is hardship, we look for someone better. Many times ending the relationship is the only way forward and break-up or divorce is well justified. Everything depends on the personal circumstances and I wouldn’t judge people’s choices.
What I would like to draw your attention to and make you reflect on is that we’re becoming a culture of quitters.
It’s this mentality that is unsettling and I can’t help but think about the future of family and couple entities. But where does it originate from?
I’m not sure how researchers explain it but in my opinion, it comes from a self-belief that we’re the best, that we shouldn’t meet any resistance, hardship or confrontation, that everything is supposed to fall into our lap and people should do what we want them to do.
It’s this entitlement to easy life and superiority over others that is causing it.
So called experts and gurus additionally fuel these feelings of entitlement as they constantly proclaim how if a person doesn’t tick all the boxes of your “perfect person list” or if you’re currently going through hard time with them, you should just dump them.
There is such vast information out there on the internet, that when you’re suffering and facing issues in your relationship, it’s very easy to absorb someone’s view or philosophy as your own and potentially cause serious damage.
My advice has always been to run each and every idea through your mind and intuition and not let anything in if you haven’t consciously selected that it’s right and suitable for you.
This also applies to my blog and the articles in it. This selection process requires reflecting and awareness but the pay-off is that you take the decisions in your life according to your free will and not due to the subtle manipulation of friends, family, psychologists, media or anybody else really.
I fear that our grandparents’ marriages for a lifetime will soon be a thing of the past.
I doubt that our generation will be able to replicate this. The infinite choice and escape of responsibility are so inherent to young people now. We very often question our choices, fretting there might be something better out there and run from any responsibility, because life is meant to be easy and flowing.
So how can our attitude towards relationships change? And why should we value longevity and commitment over a throwaway mentality?
One of the main points is to meet “your person” – he/ she may not be perfect, as no one is, but you would know you have met someone special you could see your future with. And to be completely honest, this is mainly up to God where and when we meet them. But once this first and most essential aspect is met, it’s mainly up to us.
You hear people saying meaningful, long-term relationships are a matter of hard work and patience and I believe it’s true.
I see relationships as living beings that need to be nurtured, watered and cared for like we do for home plants or pets. It’s not easy and straight-forward, that’s why many people call it “the art of being in a relationship”. But once you decide commitment and longevity are priorities for you in the relationship with your loved one, you will learn and grow stronger together.
I really hope this article helps you realise the value of relationships in your life. Your parents, family, partner, friends, colleagues – they’re what make life so wonderful and complete and most of all, they give you the opportunity to give and receive love. If you found this blog post useful, please leave a comment and share it with friends.