Don’t be the Unwanted Roses in Somebody’s Garden

I’ve been thinking recently what the next story to share with you to be about – one that comes from the heart and inspire you to live a better life. And the ideas came in a surprising way. One evening after work I was doing some gardening and enjoying this activity, which many people consider a kind of meditation. While my full attention was engaged with the process, my mind was drifting freely and all of a sudden I focused on a stem of a rose bush. It didn’t have flowers but oh, it sting! It was located between the fence and the concrete, and just couldn’t grow and blossom there. I thought to myself: under other circumstances, it would be great to have a rose bush in the garden – but not here and not now.

Suddenly it struck me that this situation was a metaphor for the times that many of us, especially women, have felt that we are not appreciated and treated with care, respect and admiration in our relationships. 

About the times when no matter how much you want something or give all of you, it’s just not going to happen. And it’s not because the problem is in you ( as we tend to think ) but it’s just not the right time, not the right place, not the right person and not the right soil. Many of us stay in relationships where we feel unwanted and not fully accepted – like roses who are considered weeds.

More often than not, especially at a younger age, we put up with it and try to change, adjust, make continuous compromises or simply wait.

Women are extremely patient. You might object by saying: ‘Oh, I’m not patient at all, I can’t wait for this and that.’ However, if you look back honestly in your past, you might be surprised to find out you’re more patient than you thought. Patience is a great virtue and one that is necessary for a harmonious and fulfilling life.

But we must learn to differentiate when to be patient and when it’s time to leave.

Staying in a relationship where you face abuse, lying, cheating, disrespect, humiliation or lack of any prospects for a future together is destructive to your self-esteem. Don’t wait until things escalate to a point where your safety or emotional stability are threatened. The longer you are part of such painful expression of love, the bigger the damage and the longer it will take you to recover.

Remember – love should not equal pain.

A healthy romantic relationship brings joy and makes you stronger and able to achieve anything you want, it makes you feel pretty, attractive and irreplaceable. You feel deeply respected, supported and accepted on all levels and no mistake or problem can disrupt it.

As it could be very hard to leave an unfulfilling relationship, especially one going on for years,

try to seek help and advice from people who will understand, comfort and empower you to take the right action. Sometimes books, blogs or seminars could be eye-openers and clarify a lot. And know you can do it as it’s worth it – you deserve so much better.

Don’t be the unwanted rose in somebody’s garden.

Make your choices wisely and be brave to change them if they turn out to have been wrong. Build your confidence with each day and never settle for less than your heart desires.

Life loves the brave and the strong and always pays back for the courage and risk taken.

Have you ever felt in a similar situation – in a relationship, a job, or a friendship? Please share in the comments.

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