The Most Important Word You’ll Ever Say
We, as sensitive persons, tend to give out and devote lots of our time and energy to the people around us and to various causes. That’s lovely but
in our effort to help and nourish others, we often deplete ourselves.
When asked to do something we don’t really can or want to but feel we have to, our almost automatic reply is something like:
- “Ok, don’t worry.”
- “That’s fine, I’ll take care of it.”
- “Yes, sure.”
Does this sound like you?
In fact, it’s a common concept that we want people to like us,
it’s a natural instinct which is left from childhood.
Then we wanted to please our parents as our existence and the love we received depended on them.
The good news is now you’re grown-up and
you can survive if some people don’t like you.
Actually, even if many people don’t like you or disapprove of your actions and decisions.
Because now YOU are responsible for your well-being and it’s YOUR task to take good care of yourself.
A true act of self-love is to learn to say “NO” and say it a lot.
People will try to steal your time, energy and emotional needs – that’s how things are. In the fast-paced daily life that’s very easy to happen.
You end up being in a repetitive pattern of self-sacrifice
and deprivation of self-esteem, time, sleep, leisure, emotional closeness, energy.
Now is the time to set limits and put boundaries in order to protect yourself.
However, it’s easier said than done. It means to unlearn a habit you’ve used all your life and start learning a new one that makes you shrink and upsets your stomach.
To establish a new habit, it takes time, practice and acceptance of the uncomfortable feeling.
Of course, it’s important and desirable to say “NO” with tact and grace as we definitely don’t want to deliberately hurt people’s feelings.
However, we still have to say the message with clarity and determination as to show we won’t change our mind.
Let’s start right now with a few simple examples:
- “Thank you so much for your kind offer but I’ve already have what I need at the moment.”
- “I really appreciate that you invited me to your special event but I wouldn’t be able to attend it this time.”
- “I’m sorry but I can’t work on the weekend as I really need time to relax and put my things in order.”
NO is the magical word that helps us build a genuine self-esteem
and brings us closer to a more fulfilling and meaningful life.
In my experience, it took me a lot of efforts and inner struggles to learn to say “NO” but luckily,
it does get easier with time and even starts to come naturally.
Now, please tell us your ways to say “NO” and how you beat your inborn inclination to please people. We are so looking forward to your comments!